Wilderspool Causeway

‘He has the bonhomie of a gameshow host and his handshake is so limp it’s like meeting a ghost. He lies through his teeth with impeccable grammar; in the game of life he’s just a dreadful goalhanger.’ One of Billy Bragg’s rare forays into football imagery sums up the divide between those who play for themselves and those who play for the team. He’s brings a dull point to life, that’s for sure – as did the players of Wokingham & Emmbrook Oranges today.

This training match, with no common enemy, had the potential sourness factor of a Tangfastic. The tension was palpable. Why is that? Infractions included: hitting the goalkeeper after a soft goal was conceded, a lunge at an opponent which Jonathan Edwards would’ve considered promising, disruptive crying, and apologies which were about as natural as a forced simile.

Where did all the angst come from? Do children carry baggage from the past, as adults do? Back to Billy: ‘He was trapped in a haircut he no longer believed in. She said “I’m a teacher here; I teach the children.”‘ Is the implication here that the vitality of the children brought the teacher into the present moment, whereas the man – as indicated by a Top Gun flattop or something – just couldn’t get there? Or is being ‘in the moment’ actually a major problem for children, and therefore overrated?

Whatever the reason for the turmoil, they would rather lose against strangers than against each other, despite some excellent goals, good play from most players and nothing riding on the result. In terms of the adult haircut dilemma, some thoughts from Stephen Malkmus:  “And in a funny way, the shaving of my, uh, head has been a liberation from, uh, a lot of, uh, stupid vanities really. Uh, it has simplified everything for me. It has opened a lot of doors, maybe.”