A cautionary note: this includes many of the typical circles of tournament hell, including captivity, penalties, heartache etc and as such is not supposed to reflect negatively on the host club. Organisation was excellent, pitches were immaculate and beer was available. But still…
To start with, as mentioned above, it’s one of those tournaments in which you’re taken captive. Having already paid to enter the competition, you are then expected to pay to be funnelled into the area where the games take place. There was no alternative route in or out of the park. To exit on foot during the morning meant sneaking past a group of about 8 ladies from the Staines/Egham/Englefield Green area – fine, but not ideal. In return for paying for captivity, you receive an informative and well-designed programme which outlines the schedule for the day, the rules of the competition and some heavy messages for scouts. Basically, they too are captive but they’re also not allowed to talk to anyone; they have to go to the ‘control tent’ so they can be monitored at close quarters by tournament officials. Also, wherever you went, the following sign was always there to meet you: ‘These are kids. This is a game. The coaches are volunteers. The referees are only human.’ Of course, everyone agrees with this. It would be hard not to. No-one thinks ‘These are adults. This is not a game. The coaches are paid. The referees are extra-terrestrials.’ Compared to the 80s, when there were no rules at all regarding parental conduct (for example, I remember fights breaking out on the touchline at Hanover Way in Windsor – not ‘posh’ btw), this sort of ethos is very welcome. But is it also a very subtle form of mind control?
1st Circle: Limb(o)ering Up
Elm Grove Wildcats 0 Wokingham & Emmbrook 0
We arrived in Englefield Green at 8:30 on a Saturday morning to play a team from Hersham – great. Having travelled through Bracknell and Ascot, we could have gone via Virginia Water but ended up skirting Windsor town centre for a depressing drive through Old Windsor. If you can be in Old Windsor and not be depressed, then well done – the external world has no bearing on you. I can be around the Great Park, though nostalgia is quite powerful, but other parts of Windsor trouble me as I remember two types of thug, and not much in between. There are the over-privileged, Jeremy Clarkson type thugs and the more ordinary/reactionary thugs – it’s probably a good coping mechanism to be one of these types. A theory is that this is an overreaction to daily reminders of insignificance. In the presence of natural grandeur, it’s good to feel small – of course. In the presence of inherited human power and privilege, along with widespread total acceptance among everyone in the town that some human beings are inherently more valuable than others – not so much. Anyway, the game was fairly pleasant and low key. There was a lack of intensity, although we did get a penalty in the second half when the buccaneering Stefan Webb got in front of a defender and was mercilessly chopped to the floor. Unfortunately the penalty was woefully sliced high and wide under a low blanket of cloud obscuring the Canderel sun.
2nd Circle: abandon all hope.
Brunswick 5 Wokingham & Emmbrook 0
This was dire. Perestroika needed immediately. There was one funny moment though. Ryan’s granddad turned and said ‘I’m thinking conceptually from now on. Day to day matters bore me.’
(The tale of this game had a heartening coda later on, though.)
3rd Circle: fighting to the surface of the Styx.
Woking Cougars 0 Wokingham & Emmbrook 2 (Harris 2)
After the Brunswick debacle, Coach Justin took decisive action, calmly removing the team from parental distractions to a far corner of the field in order to work on some basic training routines. We were not playing with the intensity required for tournament football. Justin is a calm, mild mannered and cerebral coach who played to a good standard, including a spell at Forest Green Rovers in Gloucestershire, but he said the key change needed was to be aggressive rather than tentative. This was thought-through rather than expressed in the heat of the moment; this allowed the tone of his communication to remain entirely positive as he held back from expressing frustration when it would have been pointless to do so – when we were 3-0 down in the preceding game, for example. If criticism had been levelled then, confidence may have been dented beyond repair and I’m not sure such a strong and coherent performance against Woking Cougars would have been possible. It was a pretty one-sided game, in the end, including two decisive close range finishes from striker Hayden Harris and a determined, composed effort all round. But with only one win so far, was the tournament all but over?
4th Circle: Treachery. Hosts consigned to icy Englefield Green waters.
Manorcroft United 0 Wokingham & Emmbrook 1 (Harris)
The last group match was a must-win game for both teams. Our players would have to overcome Manorcroft on the pitch and block out the noise generated by a relatively large contingent of loud adults (about 20 or so) on home territory. It was a tense game but Evan and William in defence were composed and determined while the attacking players generated good momentum going forward. But a goal was essential, and even then we could only hope to qualify for the next round as one of the best third placed teams. While we wanted freedom, we didn’t want to be ‘sent’ to it – we wanted it to be the result of natural causes, such as the tournament ending and it being time to go. With 3 or 4 minutes to go, the ball fell to Hayden at the edge of the box who slammed it into the top of the net, ushering in an intermediate state in which we’d have to wait for word from the control tent as to our destiny.
5th Circle: Penalties
Brunswick 0 Wokingham & Emmbrook 0
Oddly, the draw for the quarter final paired us with Brunswick, the outfit from Fulham who thrashed us in the second game. Hayden’s family had arrived mob- handed from Bracknell, whereas the Brunswick players must have come by minibus – no-one from the Chelsea area of Fulham, where the club’s based, had roused themselves to support their young. This made the character and maturity displayed by the players even more impressive. In contrast to the group game, Wokingham & Emmbrook dominated the match from start to finish. The ball was hardly in our half, and we were untroubled, making the earlier game so hard to understand. Their keeper and defence was impressive, though, and we just couldn’t quite find a goal. As the game wore on, extra-time seemed likely. Evan had to leave the pitch, suffering with a recurrence of the asthma that had kept him off school earlier in the week. The dilemma, though, was that he’s generally a set-piece specialist and would be required again if the game went to penalties. Should he take his inhaler and go back on, or sit it out and let others take responsibility? We had missed a penalty in the first game – shockingly – so the omens weren’t necessarily great. Then again, the turnaround had been incredible. Tension seemed to double with every minute, even though rationally everyone knew it didn’t matter and it was only a game and all that. Eventually, the final whistle went, signalling penalties. I decided – rightly or wrongly – to encourage Evan to get back in the mix and put his hand up to take a penalty. He was given the fifth, and potentially most important, penalty. We were up first and William, our calm centre back who played like Tomas Kalas in the quarter final, stepping in front of attackers to win the ball, stepped up and side footed it into the net. Brunswick then scored their first penalty – an excellent strike into the top corner. Our second penalty was smashed against the bar; Brunswick then dispatched their second. Hayden stepped up to take our second penalty – and scored. Again, Brunswick scored their third with no problem whatsoever: 2-3 after 3 penalties each. Our 4th – a great strike – unfortunately hit the post. Still 2-3. Brunswick had to score their 4th penalty to win. ‘Keeper Leo saves it, meaning that Evan’s penalty had to be scored if we were to remain in the tournament. I was providing live updates to absent parents so missed his long walk to the spot. He normally scores penalties quite easily though. He struck it well and with composure towards the top corner and immediately dissolved into tears as the ‘keeper tipped it round the post to knock us out. With emotions raised to such a level, we left with the question we had at the start: what was the point of all this? It’s good if it’s a learning experience, but awful if you feel you’ve let everyone down. Taking the 5th penalty, that feeling is inevitably heightened. It was essential to quickly counteract the idea that a single person had let the team down. Unbelievably, a Brunswick player, instead of celebrating with his teammates, did the bulk of that work himself with such impressive maturity. He walked straight up to Evan and gave him a full on hug followed by a motivational talk. In Evan’s words he said ‘Look at me. Look at me. You came back from losing 5-0 to us earlier to being the best team just now and you were one of the most important players. Don’t think you’ve let your team down.’ Unbelievable from the lad and so appreciated. We were finally free to go, but stayed at least an hour longer over £3.50 cans of Doom Bar and a cathartic filmed post-mortem interview between Evan and former coach Michael who had watched on encouragingly and put the whole thing into perspective.
Wilderspool Causeway 